Our New Welcome Mat

After that last post you might be confused. Heck, I'm confused most of the time with what we are doing to The Jungle House. Where'd that wall go? What's that new wall for? What the heck are you doing?

We're breaking things down to the studs.

So...welcome...

Here's our old front door:

By the way, when we got the keys to the house we didn't get the keys to these doors. The locksmith couldn't figure out how to change the lock. "Umm. That's your job" were our first thoughts, followed by some savory phrases towards the locksmith and the bank. Because the other rule that because it was a foreclosure home, Fannie Mae doesn't give the new homeowners the old keys. Instead they charge a Re-Key fee of $200. We thought we'd get all the keys with that $200.

Luckily, the neighbor whose daughter used to own the home had an old set of keys. This, while helpful, does not help the argument of "new owners = new keys because you don't know who has keys". While we were planning to change out this door and we had keys for the back door, the principle of the matter made us want those keys. We never got them.

So we created a new door.

OK, in reality, the lack of keys did not impact the new placement of the front door. The fact that no one used the front door meant it needed a new location. (And we wanted to make that huge living room into our bedroom, but we'll get to that later.)

So we turned the old first floor bedroom into the new entry!

And the old entry?

My new walk-in closet! (I've never had a walk-in closet.)

We look forward to putting out the welcome mat for everyone soon. But for the moment, the first step is a doozy.

(The green door is a construction door to keep out all the riff-raff. The real fancy schmancy door to come later!)

Tear Down This Wall

I'm channeling Ronald Reagan.

So I returned from a business trip and The Farmer and his friends met me at the front door of the garage (we are living above the garage, did I forget to tell you?) and he was quite adamant that we needed to show them the house.

Now.

OK...Can I put down the grocery bags and dinner I brought home? (Thank goodness for grocery store rotisserie chickens...)

I found out why he needed to show the house. Now.

It looked like this:

The conversation upstairs apparently had gone like this:

"Oh. She's home. She doesn't know about the house."

Yep. I didn't know about the house. All The Farmer said was that the plumber had been to the house while I'd been gone.

Well, yes, it appears that the plumber has been here.

Along with a few other worker-type people.

While I was away The Farmer and the Contractor got started. Really started. And according to The Farmer one of the conversations went like this:

"OK. You've got four days until she comes home, so go to it."

"Got it."

Gee. Thanks, babe. You make me sound like I'm going to come in and start changing things around. While I *was* a bit surprised when I came home and found lots of holes in things and new framing for walls, I'll leave this construction stuff to the experts.

I'll just watch and be thrilled about all the new and exciting changes.

But I did move this wall by 9:00 am the next morning...by two feet.

Inside the Maze

While you've been patiently walking around the house - lost in the jungle - I know you are wanting to see what's behind that blue siding (there's actually three layers of siding, we discovered). And my one photo of the mud/laundry room probably isn't going to suffice.

To remind you, this is the first room that you come to when you enter the back door:

Pick your favorite color! There's lot to choose from.

Through the door at the end of the room you walk into...

Um, yeah. We were confused to. Through the door to the right is a pantry-like space (with a window to nowhere).

Turn slightly to the left - because you can't go forward - you'll see the kitchen. Yay! A way out!

We affectionately referred to this as the "cluster f***". (Sorry, mamacita, I just sorta swore.)

The kitchen is nice and large.

The refrigerator is just in the middle of the room. Hmm.

Oh, and don't look down. You might notice the carpet on the floor. Yuck.

One of the previous owners was a cabinet maker, so the cabinets - lots of them! - are wonderful. This kitchen - complete with yellow countertops - has potential.

On the other side of the kitchen counters is a dining room of sorts. Complete with that same carpet (which is really squishy, by the way. I don't want to know why it's squishy.) in the kitchen.

Look! A fireplace! And really skinny frosted windows!

Back to that fridge...Why is it in the middle of the kitchen?

Because they added in an extra-thick wall (truly, check it out...were they hiding the family treasures in the walls and needed it extra thick?) wall and made a really tiny office. With a really tiny deck.

But a nice floor (which we ripped up anyways).

On the other side of the wall above is the cluster-maze, which explains a few things. Sorta.

Are you lost yet in the house? Don't worry. We are too. To back up a bit, it's important to know that this house is actually three houses, patched together. The original house was built in the 1960s, then added onto at least twice. The result it a bit of a maze. Our contractor confirmed this "maze" designation. But there's lots and lots of space. Just configured very strangely.

Back to the tour:

Beyond the open room with the fireplace, at the front of the house, is the master bedroom.

Notice the baseboard heater? I realize you haven't been counting, but we're up to about five already and we aren't done yet.

Don't be jealous of the colors.

Or the glass block into the open bathroom.

On the other side of the glass block is the bathroom; the only one on the main floor, by the way (and remember, we are in the master bedroom).

The sink is pink.

And since you now know there are no other bathrooms on this floor, I'm sure you are wondering what is taking up all that space. Well, go back to that open room and through the window-ed door to the left...

The living room! (It's 23 x 20...) And it has another fireplace.

And we found the front door.

We didn't use it. No one uses the front door, remember?

Now turn around and look at the end of the looooong living room.

The dining room! (Nowhere near the kitchen!) With pink carpet!

I see my office in its future...

OK. Upstairs.

Careful. The stairs are not quite to code. That stair on the landing is a doozy if you miss it.

And upstairs you'll find two bedrooms with lovely paint colors, and a tiny tiny bathroom. More on why that bathroom didn't need to be so tiny in another post.

The paint is dark brown, hence you are thinking these walls are black. Almost. But not quite.

But the other room isn't dark. It's nice and bright! And I mean bright.

This house is about 3200 square feet, yet has two tiny bathrooms. And one single toilet out in the mud/laundry room. No, you didn't miss that photo. Who takes pictures of toilets?

There is tons of space...all in the wrong places. And while we looked at the house and shook our heads, wondering what the heck we were doing, we also could see the potential. There's lots of potential here. And yes, we were a bit biased because The Jungle House is in the middle of one of the Farmer's fields, but potential nonetheless.

Potential with 18 baseboard heaters and carpet in the kitchen and bathroom. Oh, did you not notice that in the bathroom above?

Yep. Carpet.

In. The. Bathroom.

And. Kitchen. 

It has been removed. (Didn't want you to worry.)

Now you might think the tour is over, but we saved the best room for last. Actually, it just might be the best room. Seriously.

Boys, feel free to drool.

Lost in the Jungle

The outside of the Jungle House is, well, jungle-y.

As someone who has over 250 acres (The Farmer would like to clarify that 100 of those acres he rents; he likes to give credit where credit is due) of mostly open land, I find it kinda funny that The Farmer now owns the Jungle House with the myriad of 27 trees, 183 shrubs, and 1,622 plants.

OK, that might be a bit of an exagerration. Maybe.

Standing on the front parking pad, you can see trees numbered one through nine...and at least one shrub...

Trees nine and ten. Shrubs three and four. Oh, and five back there along the house!

 The driveway is wide and paved...just watch out for the scraggly tree branches that might clip the car roof...

Check out our fruit trees! (Trees #11-21ish)

Now we just needed to figure out what sort of trees we had. We've identified a pear-apple, a cherry, an apple, and a kiwi so far.

There's a very large compost pile - someone else's compost - behind this tall shrub-tree-thing.

At this point, most people would have been headed back down the overgrown driveway, lined with unidentified shrubs #55-63. (And note the mini rock garden that consumes the front lawn.)

Us? We decided to go in for a closer look.

Because shrub number three looks much better up close.

By the way, those signs state - in two languages - to stay away. I'm not sure they were necessary. 

Perhaps we should have read the signs before we went in.

We didn't use the front door. According to The Farmer, no one ever used the front door. I can see why.

Oh, did I forget to mention that The Farmer grew up across the street from this house and owns the 150 acres surrounding it? Yep. Now you know why we are still taking photos and ignoring the "Keep Out" signs. The Street of Dream house was not in the middle of The Farmer's field, so we found our way to The Jungle House...because it was in the middle of his field. But hey, we have 1,622 plantings...noxious and otherwise. Often the Street of Dreams houses still need landscaping completed. We're already set.

Since we didn't use the front door, we used the back door. And saw the backyard first.

In case you missed it (you aren't really reading, just reveling in the amazing photos and shaking your head), let me remind you that The Farmer owns all the land around The Jungle House.

See the fence? He owns the grass on the other side. (I think I was supposed to call that a pasture.)Sometimes there are cows hanging out by the fence, but more on that later.  

A dog house!

I'm afraid of dogs. I need to remind The Farmer of this fact.

Nice placement for the septic tanks. Quite convenient for all. (And there are two more on the other side of the house, just as discreetly disguised by the pretty white fencing.)

And yes, even after noting the highly convenient septic tank we went in...

Oh, more on The House itself later!

But in case you were wondering what the Jungle looks like from the inside, this is the front yard (trees numbered three through eight, for your reference point).

The backyard, from inside the pool room; the 1970s pool room to be more precise. (You are excited to see that, aren't you?) It has wonderful big windows on three sides. A sun room! OK, almost a sun room, because it's not very sunny.

And finally the dining room (which isn't near the kitchen, by the way) with more floor to ceiling windows, along with floor to ceiling shrubs.

Commentary on the pink carpet to come later.

Because yes, we bought The Jungle House. 183 shrubs and all.

I also bought The Farmer a hedge trimmer for his birthday.