The Farmer's Holiday

Today is November 11th and a holiday celebrating Veterans. The Farmer would like to take time out of his busy schedule and thank all the men and women who have served in our military services to protect our freedoms, with great sacrifice from them and their families.




So how busy was The Farmer on this holiday?




He left the house at 4:00am this morning to bottle feed his baby calves so he could start milking by 5:00am. After milking, the cows were fed and the veterinarian showed up at 9:00am for the cows' monthly herd health check. The barn was cleaned after the veterinarian left and The Farmer was home by 1:00pm for lunch. During lunch The Farmer fielded several farm-related phone calls and still managed to take a 15 minute nap.




At 2:00pm The Farmer was back to work, feeding the heifers and bottle feeding the calves in order to start milking at 4:00pm. During the evening milking The Farmer was interrupted by two dairy supply salesmen and a farm equipment dealer. After milking, the cows needed to be fed and The Farmer made it home for dinner at 7:30pm. After a quick dinner he went to a Diking District meeting at 8:00pm to discuss annual budget review and property acquisitions. He was home by 9:00pm to check on the cows - yes, there is "lights out" even for the cows - one more time before heading to bed.




Tomorrow The Farmer repeats his normal routine and will meet the grain truck before 4:00am, the milk truck at 8:00am and the shaving truck (bedding for the cows) at 10:00am, and shoot the breeze (aka conduct business) with any other unscheduled visitors.




On this "holiday" The Farmer would also like to thank the farmers who keep America rolling and to thank those individuals who keep the farmers rolling.




~The Farmer~

Farmer Quote #59: Salty Goodness

"Do we need to get you a salt lick?"

(The Herdsman has taking to licking forearms...)

And here on The Farm, The Farmer can come up with a salt lick with amazing speed. Yeah. No, honey. No salt licks in the house...

Farmer Quote #23: Tractor Parking

"You know it's the start of summer when I park on the lawn."

Farmer Quote #7: Fiber Is Good For You

Half-way through The Very Hungry Caterpillar...

"This caterpillar is getting a lot of fiber."

Farmer Quote #49: The Answer Was "Mice"

While doing the daily crossword...

"What's another answer for 'point and click devices'? Shotgun doesn't fit."

Farmer Quote #72: Book Review

Farmer: Good Dog, Carl sucks! Who lets a baby play with a rottweiler?


(I think the lack of words also influenced his book review...)

Farmer/Brunette Quote #88: Tractor Rides

as The Farmer is reading an article on how fathers can be involved with the baby early on


Farmer: They don't mention riding a tractor.

Brunette: I think that's the "take them for a walk" part.

Farmer: That's different than a tractor ride.

Brunette: Here. Let me write it in.

Farmer Quotes: 2013 in Review

Reader Note: He's gonna hate this post...

Farmer Quote #33:

As he looks into the full dishwasher

Farmer: “How'd this happen?”

Me: “Uh, I came home.”

Farmer: “Oh. Yeah. I might have used the same plate for three days.”

Farmer Quote #24:

“Can't we just leave the tree up? I kinda like it. It's like a huge air freshener.”

Sidenote: The tree has been "naked" - ornaments and lights removed - for over a week. Now I know why he keeps stalling on the removal front.

Farmer/Mother Texting #14:

In prep for her visit this week we finally got the upstairs bathroom shower curtain hung.

Me (Farmer): “T says no chin-ups on the shower curtain rod.”

Mom: “Can I just swing from it then?”

Me (Farmer): “That was an emphatic nooooo.”

Mom: “Tell T he's interfering with my exercise program.”

Me (Farmer): “Cleaning calf pens will work just fine as a substitute.”

Mom: “Never mind.”

Sent from my phone because The Farmer has yet to figure out he can text my mother directly. He just likes to tell her stuff through me.

Farmer Quote #89:

Context: We have hunters on our property each weekend during goose hunting season.

Farmer: “You know, I feel a little bad for the geese. They shoot a goose and the mate comes back looking for it, and then they shoot the mate.”

Me: “Would you come back for me?”

Farmer: “With guns ablazin'.”

Farmer Quote #3:

Context: I have been in NY for 20 days.

Farmer: “Are you glad to be coming home today?”

Me: “Yes! Are you glad I'm coming home today?”

Farmer: “I think so. I think the house is clean.”

Farmer Quote #92:

Me: “Why is there so much of that hay left-over from last night?”

Farmer: “The bale was more straw-like. The cows don't like it as much. It's kinda bland. Kinda like hummus.”

Farmer Quote #365:

“A year ago today you were in Hawaii*, and I was up to my armpits in vines. And as I walked home today and saw what we've done...it has all been worth it.”

*An ill-timed or perfectly timed business trip...two days after closing.

Farmer Quote #19:

"If I find a casket, I'm burying it in here."

Farmer Quote #61:

As he's standing in front of the book/magazine section of Lowe's

“Don't they have Pimp My Laundry Room?”

Farmer Quote #68:

Context: After the party port-a-pottys were removed from the front yard, The Farmer was a bit sad.

"The hand washing station was so convenient!"

Farmer Quote #46:
As he is signing thank you notes.

“Do any of these people just know me as The Farmer? How should I sign their card?”

Farmer Quote #44:

“We are going to have to build a fence before we can go on vacation.”

Thank goodness we aren't going to leave for another week and a half...

Farmer Text #73:

"Welcome to WWF Friday night RAW! The FARMER vs ALEXANDER the GREEK GOD."

Apparently new calf Alexander wasn't happy about his move to his new pen...

Farmer Phone Call #911:

"Can you check in the bathroom for what sort of large bandages we have..."

FYI...he really did just need a band-aid. Just a large one.

Farmer Quote #70:

Me: I really like the smell of this new laundry detergent.

Farmer: Are you sure it's not my pit stick?

Farmer Quote #82:

"Just make sure I have enough ranch dressing."

In response to my request to let me know if he wanted anything particular from my pre-trip-to-NY grocery store run.

Farmer Quote #6:
As I unloaded the dishwasher

Farmer: "Did I even use a fork while you were gone?"

Me: "Uh...There's one in here."

Farmer: "Oh yeah. That was the pickle fork."

Farmer Quote #57:

Over the phone

Me (as I answer): “You don't want to know where I am right now.”

Farmer: “The hospital?”

Me: “No. Target.”

Farmer Quote #46

"We are going to have to build a fence before we can go on vacation."


(Thank goodness we aren't leaving for another week and a half!)

Farmer Quote #19: "If I find a casket, I'm burying it in here."

When you buy a house, especially a Jungle House, there are all sorts of mysteries you discover. One of our mysteries was right next to our back porch, in plain sight. And yet we hadn't "discovered" it until yesterday.

Oh, we knew it was there. We poked it with our feet periodically.

We talked about what it might be.

But we didn't dare try to open it for fear of what we might find.

Yeah...you wouldn't have touched it either, I know. It's kinda scary.

Now, for practical purposes, we didn't touch it when the inspector was at the house because we didn't want to have him declare we had to do something about it. I realize this seems backwards, but it was clear it wasn't anything that was currently in use with the house. We *did* miss it even seeing it at first, as it was covered up with brush and weeds and grass. Clearly it was not in use.

But the terms of our home renovation loan stated that we had to have all projects completed within six months for final monetary disbursement. We could start a new project the minute the inspector hit the end of the driveway, but not before. The federal government wanted to be sure we finished what we started.

So...no opening the mine shaft.

The secret passageway to China.

The treasure box of hidden gold.

Or...in this case...the drywell.

And before The Farmer took the top layer of rotten wood off the top of the hole he made the statement of the day:

"If I find a casket, I'm burying it in here."

Thank goodness we didn't find that! I really didn't want to start a unmarked cemetery in my backyard. I mean, we have a deck to build! I don't want the burial site right next to my new bar-be-que! It would ruin the mood of the outdoor parties. 

Plus, it might be a bit illegal.

The Farmer dug out the rotten boards and made sure the hole was cleaned out.

Then he added sand back into the hole. We have a lot of it in our front yard from fixing our septic tank that floated into the middle of our yard this fall.

Oh, I didn't tell you about that, did I?

Yeah...we got pictures. It's not pretty.

But this...*this* is pretty!

OK, it's all in the eyes of the beholder, but when you are renovating, this looks good.

Real good.

But I'm just glad we didn't have to perform a funeral for any uncovered caskets that might have been hiding in the mysterious hole in the backyard.

It would have put a total damper on the afternoon.

Farmer Quote #89: Guns ablazin'

Context: Each weekend during goose hunting season we have hunters on our property.


Farmer: You know, I feel kinda bad for the geese. They shoot the goose and the mate comes back looking for it. Then they shoot the mate.

Brunette: Would you come back for me?

Farmer: With guns ablazin'.