Reader Note: He's gonna hate this post...
Farmer Quote
#33:
As he looks
into the full dishwasher
Farmer: “How'd this happen?”
Me: “Uh, I came home.”
Farmer: “Oh. Yeah. I might have used the same plate for three
days.”
Farmer Quote
#24:
“Can't we just leave the tree up? I kinda like it. It's like a
huge air freshener.”
Sidenote: The
tree has been "naked" - ornaments and lights removed - for over a
week. Now I know why he keeps stalling on the removal front.
Farmer/Mother
Texting #14:
In prep for
her visit this week we finally got the upstairs bathroom shower curtain hung.
Me (Farmer): “T says no chin-ups on the shower curtain rod.”
Mom: “Can I just swing from it then?”
Me (Farmer): “That was an emphatic nooooo.”
Mom: “Tell T he's interfering with my exercise program.”
Me (Farmer): “Cleaning calf pens will work just fine as a
substitute.”
Mom: “Never mind.”
Sent from my
phone because The Farmer has yet to figure out he can text my mother directly.
He just likes to tell her stuff through me.
Farmer Quote
#89:
Context: We
have hunters on our property each weekend during goose hunting season.
Farmer: “You know, I feel a little bad for the geese. They shoot
a goose and the mate comes back looking for it, and then they shoot the mate.”
Me: “Would you come back for me?”
Farmer: “With guns ablazin'.”
Farmer Quote
#3:
Context: I
have been in NY for 20 days.
Farmer: “Are you glad to be coming home today?”
Me: “Yes! Are you glad I'm coming home today?”
Farmer: “I think so. I think the house is clean.”
Farmer Quote
#92:
Me: “Why is there so much of that hay left-over from last night?”
Farmer: “The bale was more straw-like. The cows don't like it as
much. It's kinda bland. Kinda like hummus.”
Farmer Quote
#365:
“A year ago today you were in Hawaii*, and I was up to my
armpits in vines. And as I walked home today and saw what we've done...it has
all been worth it.”
*An
ill-timed or perfectly timed business trip...two days after closing.
Farmer Quote
#19:
Farmer Quote
#61:
As he's
standing in front of the book/magazine section of Lowe's
“Don't they have Pimp My Laundry Room?”
Farmer Quote
#68:
Context: After
the party port-a-pottys were removed from the front yard, The Farmer was a bit
sad.
"The hand washing station was so convenient!"
Farmer Quote
#46:
As he is signing thank you notes.
As he is signing thank you notes.
“Do any of these people just know me as The Farmer? How should I
sign their card?”
Farmer Quote
#44:
“We are going to have to build a fence before we can go on
vacation.”
Thank
goodness we aren't going to leave for another week and a half...
Farmer Text
#73:
"Welcome to WWF Friday night RAW! The FARMER vs ALEXANDER
the GREEK GOD."
Apparently
new calf Alexander wasn't happy about his move to his new pen...
Farmer Phone
Call #911:
"Can you check in the bathroom for what sort of large
bandages we have..."
FYI...he
really did just need a band-aid. Just a large one.
Farmer Quote
#70:
Me: I really like the smell of this new laundry detergent.
Farmer: Are you sure it's not my pit stick?
Farmer Quote
#82:
"Just make sure I have enough ranch dressing."
In response
to my request to let me know if he wanted anything particular from my pre-trip-to-NY
grocery store run.
Farmer Quote
#6:
As I unloaded the dishwasher
As I unloaded the dishwasher
Farmer: "Did I even use a fork while you were gone?"
Me: "Uh...There's one in here."
Farmer: "Oh yeah. That was the pickle fork."
Farmer Quote
#57:
Over the
phone
Me (as I answer): “You don't want to know where I am right now.”
Farmer: “The hospital?”
Me: “No. Target.”
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