Farmer Excitement #4: Stud with Integrity

Farmer Excitement #4: The Farmer wore his "Select Sires: Stud with Integrity" ball cap to maternity birthing class.

Yes, he's mine. And he's a keeper...

Farmer Quotes: 2013 in Review

Reader Note: He's gonna hate this post...

Farmer Quote #33:

As he looks into the full dishwasher

Farmer: “How'd this happen?”

Me: “Uh, I came home.”

Farmer: “Oh. Yeah. I might have used the same plate for three days.”

Farmer Quote #24:

“Can't we just leave the tree up? I kinda like it. It's like a huge air freshener.”

Sidenote: The tree has been "naked" - ornaments and lights removed - for over a week. Now I know why he keeps stalling on the removal front.

Farmer/Mother Texting #14:

In prep for her visit this week we finally got the upstairs bathroom shower curtain hung.

Me (Farmer): “T says no chin-ups on the shower curtain rod.”

Mom: “Can I just swing from it then?”

Me (Farmer): “That was an emphatic nooooo.”

Mom: “Tell T he's interfering with my exercise program.”

Me (Farmer): “Cleaning calf pens will work just fine as a substitute.”

Mom: “Never mind.”

Sent from my phone because The Farmer has yet to figure out he can text my mother directly. He just likes to tell her stuff through me.

Farmer Quote #89:

Context: We have hunters on our property each weekend during goose hunting season.

Farmer: “You know, I feel a little bad for the geese. They shoot a goose and the mate comes back looking for it, and then they shoot the mate.”

Me: “Would you come back for me?”

Farmer: “With guns ablazin'.”

Farmer Quote #3:

Context: I have been in NY for 20 days.

Farmer: “Are you glad to be coming home today?”

Me: “Yes! Are you glad I'm coming home today?”

Farmer: “I think so. I think the house is clean.”

Farmer Quote #92:

Me: “Why is there so much of that hay left-over from last night?”

Farmer: “The bale was more straw-like. The cows don't like it as much. It's kinda bland. Kinda like hummus.”

Farmer Quote #365:

“A year ago today you were in Hawaii*, and I was up to my armpits in vines. And as I walked home today and saw what we've done...it has all been worth it.”

*An ill-timed or perfectly timed business trip...two days after closing.

Farmer Quote #19:

"If I find a casket, I'm burying it in here."

Farmer Quote #61:

As he's standing in front of the book/magazine section of Lowe's

“Don't they have Pimp My Laundry Room?”

Farmer Quote #68:

Context: After the party port-a-pottys were removed from the front yard, The Farmer was a bit sad.

"The hand washing station was so convenient!"

Farmer Quote #46:
As he is signing thank you notes.

“Do any of these people just know me as The Farmer? How should I sign their card?”

Farmer Quote #44:

“We are going to have to build a fence before we can go on vacation.”

Thank goodness we aren't going to leave for another week and a half...

Farmer Text #73:

"Welcome to WWF Friday night RAW! The FARMER vs ALEXANDER the GREEK GOD."

Apparently new calf Alexander wasn't happy about his move to his new pen...

Farmer Phone Call #911:

"Can you check in the bathroom for what sort of large bandages we have..."

FYI...he really did just need a band-aid. Just a large one.

Farmer Quote #70:

Me: I really like the smell of this new laundry detergent.

Farmer: Are you sure it's not my pit stick?

Farmer Quote #82:

"Just make sure I have enough ranch dressing."

In response to my request to let me know if he wanted anything particular from my pre-trip-to-NY grocery store run.

Farmer Quote #6:
As I unloaded the dishwasher

Farmer: "Did I even use a fork while you were gone?"

Me: "Uh...There's one in here."

Farmer: "Oh yeah. That was the pickle fork."

Farmer Quote #57:

Over the phone

Me (as I answer): “You don't want to know where I am right now.”

Farmer: “The hospital?”

Me: “No. Target.”

Rooms With A View

It's New Year's Eve. 

I haven't posted since September.

I promise you, I haven't been sitting here eating bon bons, leisurely lounging these past few months. Nope. I've been wrapped up in what is affectionately known in my business as "Travel Season". While yes, I know that I can blog from hotel rooms and Starbucks across the country, I haven't seemed to master that skill just yet. Admittedly my "J" comes out and I never think I'm quite prepared to blog on the fly. 

I don't have my trusty (personal) laptop. 

I don't have any photos to share. 

I haven't blogged about what happened last week...so how can I move onto this week?

All ridiculous excuses, I realize, especially given this tech world of iClouds and iPhones and all things "i". Then again, I don't get how most of those items connect to each other. 

OK...back to travel season. I promise I was traveling over hill and dale, meeting with lovely 17- and 18-year olds and their just as lovely counselors throughout the West. While I didn't actually get photos of each of those students (I think there's some privacy and ethical issues with that), I did take some photos while I was on the road.

1. Yonkers, New York.

I started my fall travel season in August with a week back on the "Mother Ship", ending in a morning of greeting new students on Move-In Day. Move-In Day may be my favorite day of the year.

2. Honolulu, Hawaii.

I know. I know. You are all thinking..."Really?!??! Hawaii?!" And yes, it is a lovely place to travel for work. But I stress the work part. I was a dork and didn't even put my feet in the water. And though this view was nice, I was on the "wrong" side of the hotel as the other side is a view of the water. Then again, I got upgraded to a two room suite. (Note to self: Stop while you are ahead.)

3. Toronto, Canada.

I am well aware that Toronto is not in the West, nor the US. But we had our national/international conference there this September. The conference was great. The roommate situation was even better (yes, we all go to conferences so we can have slumber parties with our friends).

4. Seattle, Washington.

While some may say I lacked a view in Seattle, I kinda enjoyed watching the traffic on I-5 ebb and flow.


5. [missing photo alert: Portland, Oregon.]

Don't worry...I have another photo from this airport hotel later this fall. I know you are eagerly awaiting it.


6. Torrance, California.

I had this view for less than ten hours. The best part? There was a Barnes & Noble in the building to the far right. Of course, I never made it there, but a girl can dream from her balcony, right?

7. San Diego, California.

Hello, palm trees! And Hwy 8.

8. Santa Barbara, California.

Yes, I got to go to exotic Santa Barbara too. But the view isn't always as nice as you imagine it. I was also sick as a dog for this part of my fall, so I only cared about the bed. I'm surprised I even got this photo taken.

9. Universal City, California.

Another great view...of a freeway.

10. [missing photo alert: Culver City, California.]

See any previous freeway photos for reference.


11. San Jose, California.

I think nighttime was the only view I really had in San Jose. I was just glad I wasn't in that other building, as I would have had to go outside. Laziness sets in at some point.

12. [no hotel alert: Seattle, Washington.]

One day trip = no hotel. But it was Seattle so it did equal a coffee date with my college roommate and lunch with a work colleague from another college.


12. Pasadena, California.

I could almost see my old apartment from this room. Oh, and this room had two double beds so friend BY could have a sleepover. We ended up not having said sleepover, but we did have a movie night in this room. And BBQ. A trip to Pasadena isn't complete without BBQ with BY.

13. Glendale, California.

I always think of these internal atriums in Embassy Suites as being futuristic pods of mini-cities. This idea may have arisen early in my admission career during a long interview weekend when I was "stuck" in one of these Embassy Suites for four days. I think large quantities of cold medication was also being consumed that weekend. But the idea, 18 years later, has stuck.

And those of you familiar with the LA area are wondering why I moved from Pasadena to Glendale...better lobby for interviews. Nuff said.

14. Portland, Oregon.

I promise I am not in jail...merely at an airport hotel where they want to be sure you don't jump out the window onto the tarmac. Then again, I'm not facing the tarmac.

15. Portland, Oregon.

Different trip. Different hotel. Better view.

16. Santa Cruz, California.

If you squint really hard, you can see the ocean. Not.

17. [missing photo alert: Walnut Creek, California]

Close your eyes and imagine a view of an elevated BART train line a mere 25 feet directly in front of you. No wonder I didn't take a photo.


18. Larkspur, California.

Another pool I didn't use. But the best part of this hotel was that college friend EJ was in a room two floors directly below me. Yes, we planned it.

19. Seattle, Washington.

In case you are counting, this is trip #3 to the Emerald City. 

20. Santa Monica, California.

The SaMoHi marching band serenaded me with a concert one evening as they headed to the football field. The baseball players also had practice on this field. The Farmer played baseball in college. I'm sure I missed him right about now.

21. [missing photo alert: Portland, Oregon.]

Please see #14.


22. [missing photo alert: New Rochelle, New York.]

Ah, the irony. I forgot to take a photo of my second Mother Ship trip of the fall. Imagine a Chase bank and CVS pharmacy.


23. San Francisco, California.

Welcome to way too expensive hotels in downtown San Francisco!

And there concludes my retrospective of fall travel. I know you are jealous. Especially of that Portland airport hotel.

Farmer Quote #6: Lots and Lots of Spoons

(as I unloaded the dishwasher after being away for a week)

Farmer: Did I even use a spoon while I was gone?

Brunette: Uh...Looks like there is just one in here.

Farmer: Oh yeah...That was the pickle fork.

The Gnome Did It

The Farmer loves surprises. He often comments that he can't wait until I leave again on a trip so he can do more projects. While I know I'm helpful...I'm good at holding things and handing him tools...and we work well together, there's something The Farmer finds gleefully exciting about surprising me when I come home.

Hey, this girl ain't gonna complain.  

So last week when I was in Portland for the afternoon and got a text adding "dry erase markers" to my shopping list, I figured something was up. 

It was.

I came home to this...

And this...

And this...

And this...

Gotta love The Farmer.

And not just because he hung all these items in my pantry and laundry room. I mean, there is this too. 

I then promptly broke open my newly purchased dry erase markers and left him a note showing my appreciation.

I also needed him to do one teensy tiny more thing...

Of course, The Farmer has denied involvement in any of these projects. So I blamed Carl, the imaginary boyfriend of our imaginary maid, FiFi. Oh, have I not told you about her? Yes, she is a real imaginary maid.

But, no, Carl wasn't to blame, said The Farmer.

Instead he blamed The Gnome.

Sounds good to me. I'll blame anyone The Farmer wishes if only to have The Gnome complete more projects while I have a leisurely lunch with a friend in the Big City. 

The Gnome did it. In the laundry room. With the drill.

Boys and Their Toys

The Farmer got a new toy this week. 

I think it looks like a giant spider. 

But no, it's a tedder. (Not a tetter...at first I thought Tet Offensive and realized I was a nerd. But this is spelled differently and has nothing to do with Vietnam.) And no, I didn't know what a tedder what until I met The Farmer, so don't worry if you are still wondering what the spider-y looking machine does. 

But before I can explain that we have to get this thing off the trailer. 

The Farmer used the SkidSteer and looped that safety strap around the two forks of the forklift. 

Then he added a safety chain to the front...just in case. Because, yeah, you don't want to scratch the paint job.

I normally drive the SkidSteer for The Farmer on jobs.

There was no way I was driving that machine today!

Safely on the ground (phew!), The Farmer started playing with his new toy. 

He had to play with the big arms that spin. Fancy!

They also lower to the ground and add two more tedders to the sides, which increases The Farmer's capacity to ted the fields by about 50%. 16 feet wide...wow!

The tedder is a vital part of haying. Day One of haying you cut the field. On Days Two and Three you ted the field, which essentially turns and fluffs the hay, allowing it to dry faster and evenly. Then after it is dry on Day Four (hopefully) you rake it into wind-rows and bale it. Dry hay is important because you don't want to bale wet hay...it has to be completely dry. This is why you bale hay only on sunny/hot days. If the hay is wet it can combust and start a fire.

You wonder why barns burn down? Not from little boys playing with matches. From wet hay.

So each of those disk-y things have pairs of forks that rotate and fluff the hay. And this new tedder has those hydraulic arms with two more disks of forks for a total of four tedder disks. 

Again, fancy!

After The Farmer was done playing with it we had to figure out a place to put it. We had unloaded it in the driveway that was out-of-the-way but not out-of-the-way enough.

Our solution?

The middle of the barnyard circle drive...so everyone could see it!

And yes, a few folks did stop by to see the new toy. They heard The Farmer had one and wanted to see if for themselves. 

Boys and Their Toys!