Bear Sightings

The news affiliates have been reporting bear sightings in and around the city during the past few weeks. While disturbing, I didn't worry much; we don't have many bears on the island. The bears would have to cross the river, so the chances of them making it all the way to the Farm undetected is slim.

I spoke too soon.

A few days ago I discovered a bear of our own on my very own back porch.

Do you see it?

 It must have escaped during our White Dress Party (part 2).

Yeah, I wouldn't have wanted to be eaten either.

It's The Little Things...

...that are IN THE WAY!

I realize this photo just looks like a blue wall of siding in desperate need of a paint job.

True, it needs a paint job...*

But this is an important photo. 

Key evidence.

A sign of something important.

The true test that The Farmer loves me.

Those spackle holes? They are all that remains of my nemesis.

The ill-placed hose holder...

...has been removed. 

*Paint job completed.

Why The Farmer Doesn't Fish

When the neighbors give you things like this when you drive your tractor down the road...

why bother?

Then again, we give them all the manure they want for putting up with us.

Three Strikes

In a house there are all sorts of sounds and creaks and oddities that you have to get used to. And since everything is practically new around these parts, we're discovering all sorts of sounds.

Interestingly, some of the noises bother me. The Farmer ignores these. Others drive him crazy and I tell him not to worry. I guess this is what happens when you are married. And if we both were obsessed about everything...well, there'd be a lot of tears from one of us. Instead, we sort of balance each other out.

One said noise came from our new fridge.

Isn't it pretty? (And yes, we actually moved it back into the wall. Unlike the set-up before us, when the fridge was practically in the same spot as it is in the photo above. The middle of the room. 

See?

I didn't hear it at first, but then The Farmer mentioned it.

And went about his merry way.

"Oh, we'll get to it." "It's not that bad."

Of course he's not the one home all day, listening to the rattling sound of a ball or something caught behind the fridge. At one point I was convinced it must be a mouse making all the noise in between the walls. Chewing up important wires, of course.

But since the fridge was full I couldn't move it by myself. 

So I waited until The Farmer was annoyed enough as I now was.

It didn't happen. 

So in the middle of lunch I got up and started pulling things out of the fridge in an effort to move the dang thing myself.

The Farmer then realized I was serious.

We pulled the thing back and found...

One of those "do not remove" stickers fastened to the electrical cord. 

It was flapping in the fan behind the appliance.

The Farmer handed me the scissors and I broke the law.

At least that's what those stickers make you think you are doing when you cut them off.

So...

When we finally moved our freezer into it's new location...

...that sticker went too. The Farmer didn't ask any questions and just handed me the scissors.

And in case you were wondering, no, the "new location" for the freezer is not depicted in the photo above. We were still laying the flooring in the pantry and thus it looked like I had an appliance showroom for a while. 

Strike two. 

And just yesterday, after The Farmer convinced me that the rattling in the heat vent above the kitchen peninsula was a duct issue and we shouldn't touch it, I had had enough.

I pulled out the stool.

Pulled out my Phillips screwdriver.

Took apart the heat vent.

And found...

A dang sticker.

This one wasn't a warning label about how not to use your freezer in the water or let a small child climb up the fridge for fear of it toppling over, but still...

The irony.

So, as you can see, The Farmer had this mystery question sitting on the table when he came home for dinner.

And my life, for the moment, is quiet.

Until, of course, the cops arrive and haul me off. Because, yes...I believe that is three stickers. Three removals. Three strikes.

I'm in trouble.

160 Cows...and Six Deer

A common question when you live on a farm, I've realized, is "Do you have any pets?" I'm not sure why this is, other than people associate "farm" with "animals". And in our case, yes, we have animals...but they are not pets.

I've also come to realize when my reply is "Yes. We have 160 cows" the responses do usually include a comment on the quantity as well as "Oh...a real farm." Yes. A real farm. This is the Farmer's job. He does it 365 days a year (unfortunately, for us, at times) and we have 160 cows.

And no pets.

Well...Sorta.

Because, well, I now amend my answer with "and six deer".

They live in our yard.

The Farmer buys them carrots and apples.

I leave them the outer leaves of the lettuce head.

And we've even enabled family members...I made my sister pick up a bag of apples on her way to the house Thanksgiving because I forgot them at the store.

The Farmer was worried they would be hungry.

He should have been worried that my family would traumatize the littlest one, as my nephews spent two days with their noses pressed up to the windows to watch her every move.

Stag and Spike showed up early on and they are fairly nocturnal (hence, no photos).

They brought their girlfriend Doe one day.

And she brought her friends...Re and Mi.

And then Gretl showed up.

While they are not Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen,
we do have our own Stag and Spike, Doe, Re, Mi, and Gretl.

And yes,  I love the Sound of Music.

Much to The Farmer's chagrin.

Now The Farmer frequently comes in to request a knife and he goes running out of the house. (This might worry many of you, but I assure you he's just cutting up vegetables in the garage.) He'll head off to take a shower and come back only to stare out the front window.

Can you see her come running across the driveway (just before the tree)? 

I get texts with deer reports while I'm on the road.

I get texts while I'm home asking about them.

And yesterday I sent a text "Mama put down her foot. Gretl finally ate her vegetables."

Because like any good child, she'll leave the carrots to the very last, scrounging for every last bit of apple first.

So yes, I believe we do have pets.

We just don't let them in the house.

1,000 Geese A Laying

We do live on a dairy farm, but right about now we have a different sort of animal also on the farm. Normally in my backyard I look into the eyes of a heifer who is guiltily eating my rose bushes and eyeing my yard. Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, even for a cow.

But now the cows are inside for the winter and I have a different view out my kitchen window.

What are you looking at, you ask?

Let me get a bit closer...

Still not sure?

Yep...the farm is a stop-over for geese on their way south. Lots of geese.

And when they fly, it's pretty magnificent to watch.

As I walked to the barnyard Saturday morning they were flying around and I did a quick estimate count. We're closing in on 1,000. 

Minus a few...as we also have a half-dozen hunters in our backyard too. We are also quite popular with that crew, if you can imagine. 

Famer Quote #98: Salad Tongs

Farmer: "We have salad tongs?!? You've been holding out on me."

Brunette: "Uh. Sorry. I didn't know you liked salad tongs so much."

Farmer: "They are a TOOL."

Portable Sanitation Association International

Early on I informed The Farmer that I did not like Yard Art. You know, the gnomes, the pink flamingos, the weird metallic balls that I think are calling aliens, the wooden cutout of grandma's backside...

They are all off limits.

As well as campaign signs, as we would be confusing folks as to why we were voting for both candidates. Yes, The Farmer and I typically cancel each other's vote. But more on that later.

The Farmer listens well...it's one of his best attributes. On a side note, this is also a dangerous attribute, as he FORGETS NOTHING. It's going to haunt me more than once, I think.

But in this case of yard art, The Farmer didn't listen too well. Or at least he ignored my wishes, because before we even went away that one weekend (you know, THAT weekend) I had a very large yard art item in my front yard.

In fairness to The Farmer, I think there was some policy that required this lawn adornment, but still...

It makes a great first impression.

But, as The Farmer found out yesterday, it's also quite convenient. Because yesterday The Farmer decided at least one Aegerter needed to use the facilities while it was in our yard.

AKA...I wouldn't let him in the house as he was wearing his barn clothes.

The Farmer reported that our port-a-potty is quite clean, which is good to hear. And he came away with a fun fact o' the day:

Did you know there was a Portable Sanitation Association International? Not I.

Perhaps this means The Farmer will stop making fun of my PNACAC T-Shirt.